Anger, Excitement, Tiredness, Sleep.

A rollercoaster of emotions rising and falling this week. I won't go into all the details but here we go:

So, the Drama Society Armistice Performance was postponed, potentially cancelled. A huge kick in the teeth for all of us, the Student Union decided at the 11th hour that the Risk Assessments we had filled out weren't good enough and handed in too late. Even though we had taken the steps to make sure they were handed in on time, the receiver of the forms was not around at the time stated and this obviously caused problems. It's not like we hadn't had them previously either - the SU decided to pass new regulations on the handling of Risk assessments forms and the like and not bothered to tell us. As a result, we went about our business like we had done for the last three years and up until the aforemenioned moment had no idea we could not continue in the same manner. To add insult to injury, the meeting to sort all the shit out was scheduled for Wednesday at 2pm - the same time the Drama Society meet. Somebody somewhere has a real grudge against us it seems, so we are planning to nip this in the bud and get it all resolved. We staged a flashmob on Frenchay as well to mark Remembrance Day and stopped the whole corridor in the process. That was very special.

In other news, this time more music related, Black Sabbath are back. Messrs Obsourne, Iommi, Butler and Ward announced their reformation, their first studio album together for 33 years and a headlining performance at Download Festival. Coupled with the news the previous day that Metallica are playing the same festival AND playing their eponymous self-titled album in its entirity, this is big news. And I am THERE. I am not missing the band who invented the music genre I love for the world. By hook or by crook I will be standing on the hallowed turf of Castle Donington this summer to watch them. I have so far destroyed my neck several times listening to Sabbath's catalogue, and thus am looking to purchase a neck brace for the weeks after the festival. I will also look to attend Sonisphere as well.

The next morning, I was up at 5:45am again for more filming for 'Flying Blind'. Again a very enjoyable experience, this time set in a lecture hall and I was required to walk out and back in several times. Tedious, but worth the experience. Then a friend's party in the evening, which was also very fun. Remembrance Sunday was yesterday, and that involved a church service including a Motorhead song, much to my delight. Today is the first of my Reading Week, so I have no lessons whatsoever. For a week. if Hannah Khan is reading this, then *blows raspberry*.

Right, I'm off for my Personal Academic Tutor meeting. Stay tuned for a special blog post this evening!

Laters xx

12 hours.

As I begin to write this post, that's how long I have been up for. The time now is 5:45pm.

So, today was my first ever day working on a real-life film set! I started at 8, but got there early because I had no idea where it was, so I went with my friend (who's in charge of extras for the film - that's how I got the gig in the first place) and she needed to be there early. This resulted in a 5:45am start for me, which I somehow reacted better to than when I wake up usually at 8/9am. This annoyed me greatly, I must say - if I can wake up quicker at a time when I'm meant to be asleep, why can't I do so when I'm NOT meant to be?! It makes no sense!

Anyway, the film is called 'Flying Blind' and stars Narciss Malfoy from Harry Potter. I'm also shooting on Saturday so there should be a couple of moments in the film where you can see me. Whn I know it all I'll tell you

In other news, The UWE Drama Society's annual Armistice production will be performed on Thursday and Friday evening at St. Matthias in Bristol. It will comprise a series of war poems and songs, dramatic pieces and (thanks to yours truly) an Iron Maiden tune turned into all of the above. The admission is free, but donations to the Poppy Appeal are most welcome.

What else? Oh yes! On Friday last I met Dan Sturgess, the DJ from reggae metal Skindred! They're playing the O2 Academy in April and tickets are a fiver. Yeah, you read that right. A FIVER. I'm STOKED! And totally going.

I genuinally think that's about it. I'm going to sort out my rehearsal for this evening, so we can NAIL this motherfool once and for all!

Laters xx

Drifting from one extreme to the next.

This is me currently.

I'm in a dark place - have been for a while. I have these moments where I don't want to be around people but I don't want to be on my own either. I cannot say if anyone else has ever experienced this before, but it's horrible. I've been stressed out a lot too: my smoking plan has gone out the window in recent days as well because I've been so highly-strung. It's really getting to me at the mo. This blog could get quite depressive in the near future - as I say in my description though, hopefully my writings will open up doors, show me how to solve problems out. So if you find yourself regularly down after reading my posts in the future, you know what to do.

On a happier note (I don't know if I've mentioned this already) my monologue I performed in one of my modules the other week went down really well. It was really wierd - my tutor linked his classes to a piece of writing concerning embarrassment. The idea was that the more you make yourself vulnerable on stage and in danger of embarrassing yourself, the more convincing your performance. And whilst I didn't take it to heart, it had such an effect on me. There I was, in my pyjamas, standing in front of the class performing an extract from Equus (it's the scene where Alan Strang explains his first experience with horses) and I guess the shyness felt by wearing just my bedclothes has a big effect. Halfway through my monologue, the eyeline I had been talking to the whole time was suddenly the only thing in focus - the rest of the room blurred into insignificance. I was pretty scared, but I kept going. When I changed my emotion slightly, the whole room came back into focus. But I realise now that I was in total character, something I've never been in on stage before. The change in emotion brought me back down to earth. A big mistake in hindsight. Next time I won't do that - if it blurs I'm keeping that.

I would also like to thank Alix (I believe I've spelt it right), a new follower of mine on Twitter, for introducing me to Jason Walker, a truly wonderful musician. Here's the song that I was first told about:

Right, beddy-byes for me.

Laters xx

10 minute blog post

Well, 9 minutes. Just before Jeremy Kyle.

So, the last few days have been interesting and worrying at the same time. I don't want to go into too much detail, but basically I've screwed up big time and I'm not sure how I'm gonna get out of it. And last night was horrific until I got to sleep. It's a major struggle at the minute, but hopefully I'll get out of the other side all fine and dandy.

Have started to attempt growing a moustache for Movember. This is gonna be hilarious especially watching the other Drama Soc members attempt to as well.

Ummm, is there anything else interesting that's gone on? I don't think so to be fair, so I'll leave it there - oh, the new series of Tool Academy is back! I love that TV show.

Right, Jezza K, then work, then something else :)

Laters xx 

Brains.

...some people bloody need them.

Since my last post, this week has passed in quite a blur. I performed my monologue on Thursday for one of my classes and did well, apparently. Also got my group and play for my first assessment in that module - it's a play caled 'Bent'. It's one of the most intense plays I've ever read, and with me directing, I may well have my work cut out. But we'll see how it goes.

Yesterday was Bristol's infamous 'Zombie Walk' - two to three thousand people dressed as various members of the undead prowling the streets, scaring everyone and finishing on Castle Park. We had Freddie Mercury, Where's Wally, Timmy Mallet and Elvis amongst others, and a great day was had by all. Well, I say ALL - some idiots decided to set off some fireworks outside one of our shopping centres, injuring a seven year-old and plunging the future of the Walk into serious doubt. Apparently the reasons were political. Arrests were made for the first time in the 5 year history of the event, and I, like the other 99% of people, am shocked and disgusted that some people decided to let their own views override a wonderful family event and put themselves and others in harm. It's utterly moronic.

Today sees the first rehearsal for my Armistice piece - I'm looking forward to it, and all being well we'll have it knocked out in a couple of hours or so, which would be most impressive if I'm honest. And then we can do it again in the tech and stuff.

I keep forgetting to publish this, so here goes!

Laters xx

Special Post: My response to the Daily Mail.

Now, I'm all for teenage rebellion. It's a natural part of growing up. As children approach adulthood, the want to make their own choices is nothing but instinctual, and the restraints placed upon them at a young age are gradually lifted. Naturally, these restraints can take many forms, but the most common include face and body piercings and the dyeing of one's hair.

I too have made the point of partaking in both - I have two rings in both earlobes and I dyed my hair last Christmas - however unlike the case I am about to bring up, I DID in fact wait until I was 18 to do both, the former under the wishes of my parents, the latter because until then I hadn't really fancied having my hair any other colour.

THIS article here, which was posted this morning on the Daily Mail website, is from a mother (Diana Appleyard) who believes that she has, in some way, failed in her duties as a parent because her 18 year-old daughter (Charlotte) has several piercings and dyed her hair all manner of colours. She also, quite infuriatingly, ponders on whether it is her daughter's love for heavy metal music that has caused her to invest in the aforementioned activities. She says that her daughter "first dyed her hair in her third year at boarding school — I went to pick her up for a day out and nearly fainted with shock. Her gorgeous blonde hair had been dyed a  horrible matte black. Against it, her skin seemed pasty and washed out. She looked, in short, nothing like my daughter." The article goes on to say "Her father and I worked so hard to give her and her sister an idyllic childhood, with horses and private education — yet Charlotte looks the antithesis of her upbringing."

To this, I write the following response:

Firstly, Diana, your dream image of how your daughter would turn out was always going to be dashed. As mentioned above, teenage rebellion is part of growing up, and every single one does so in their own unique way. Your daughter is not unlike the rest of us, and I am sure you too had your own way of going against the grain. True, some aspects of childhood never fade - 16 years down the line, I am still an avid fan of Chelsea Football Club. I have also maintained a great love for the Beano comics and continue to enjoy The Pink Panther and Wacky Races. However, I was always looking for that element of self-expression, and I found it, like Charlotte, in heavy metal music. Now, sitting in my room in my student house, no fewer than four posters of Iron Maiden adorn my walls, and I even have a drawer filled with all manner of band t-shirts. I reckon that, if you spoke to Charlotte about it, there would be things that she still loves regardless of how she has 'evolved' as a human being.

You also say that your daughter's appearance "has become a family joke" and that you "wonder if there is something I have done wrong". To put it bluntly, you haven't. I assume I became the same way - at 17, my hair was past my shoulders and I more or less lived out of my denim waistcoat and studded wristbands. My hair was always the first thing to be commented on at family gatherings, and it wouldn't surprise me at all if my younger brother ridiculed me at school to his friends about the whole affair. Neither of my parents were ever embarrassed about what I was wearing, and the only time they were was when I wore a t-shirt displaying a '666' logo, which offended them due to their Christian faith. In the end, my dad bought the t-shirt off me and disposed of it, and I went out and bought a different one with the money. Win win situation.

Now on to the point that has really got my goat - the issue of heavy metal music itself. Metal has never attempted to be the image of 'popular music' - sure, the moments that it DOES breach the top 20 in the UK charts are applauded, but no band has ever sought out to become a mainstream metal act, nor have the fans ever tried to consistently get a band to #1. To do so is to go against the flow of what heavy metal is about - the close-knit community and the decision to move away from the 'norm' and band together. A band could play music as heavy as Slayer, for example, but if they regularly released singles and tried to claim the top spot in the charts with each release, quickly people would perceive them to be 'selling out' and they would lose a lot of fans. A perfect case in point is Metallica - the biggest metal band on the planet, yet when they released 'The Black Album' in 1991, the move away from 8-minute epics to 5-minute, almost radio-friendly tunes alienated quite a few people, of which some have never forgiven the band for that decision. The overall point is this: Metal has always been, in its foundations, about people wanting to create music as far way as possible from what was and what IS present in the Top 40 and to EXPRESS THEMSELVES in their own way. Your daughter is no different. As I mentioned above, the development from child to teenager is always accompanied by some form of expression.

I would also like to try and quell your fears that Charlotte's "aggressive image might damage her in some way". This is not the case at all. I can definitely see your view - a lot of band t-shirts have quite graphic designs on them, and coupled with the other stereotypical features - lots of black, numerous piercings, studded accessories - the result can be quite 'scary' to an extent. However, deep down, Charlotte will still have the "sweet, dreamy personality" that you say she has. The same holds true for the vast majority of the alternative community. It is one big family, brought together under a love for all things heavy and loud. Everyone comes from different walks of life, and will all continue to take different paths. There are footballers who like metal, actors, even politicians. The only thing in common is the taste in music. There is nothing that says to be a metalhead, you must have an aggressive attitude towards everyone. Again, take me - I've loved heavy metal since the age of 11, but I am a Christian like my parents and, according to everyone I know, one of the nicest and most sensitive guys around. Not exactly the toughest or most aggressive of people, am I? However, on a different note, do not expect this to be "just a phase". The strength of the community means most carry on the image right into adulthood and for the rest of their lives. That's just the way it is and the way it always has been.

In closing then, Diana, I would like to say that you have NOT been a bad mother in any sense of the word, and that's it's perfectly normal to be worried. However, I stand by Charlotte and urge you to "butt out" of her life somewhat. Not only are you taking everything far too personally, but now that she is 18 and legally a young adult, she is free to do what she wants. Of course, that doesn't mean you cannot ADVISE her and give your opinion where you feel necessary, but ultimately it is HER decision on whether she gets that band t-shirt, or that piercing, or that tattoo. I would also like to stress that heavy metal music is NOT making your daughter aggressive. If anything, the nature of the music is keeping her charming self intact. If you do ever read this, then I hope you take what I have said on board and that it gives you some piece of mind. If you are still genuinally worried, then I suggest you speak to her properly. Have a good, honest conversation, with no raised voices, and let her tell you everything. I'm sure it will become clear that she is not out to harm you and (hopefully) it will make your relationship even stronger.

Yours,

Elliot Leaver

Descartes has melted my brain.

Quite literally.

Today's workshop in Drama was my first foray into Philosophy. And I am currently incapacitated while my brain still recovers from the whole damn thing. Somehow though, I have enough ability to update my blog, as I said I would.

So, this week - one of catching up on work and the like, trying to get the right balance between my work and my social life. It's something I think is really important - too much work and you become detached from everyone and fitting in with groups will be tough. Too much fun and you'll drop out at Christmas, simple as that. But get it all right and uni will be the best three years or so of your life. It's probably the best piece of advice I could give to anyone who's looking at going to uni, and one I have been telling all the prospective Fresher's coming on Open Days. And with me being a believer in practicing what you preach, if I'm not keeping on top of it myself then I feel like a bit of a hypocrite. Thankfully, I'm there, more or less: Notes to write up over the weekend and a soundtrack to complete, and I'm done.

I am also down to direct my first ever drama piece! It's called 'For the Greater Good of God', and will be a part of the Drama Society's Armistice Showcase. Its about a soldier, on the front line in a holy war, who is questioning whether he has made the right move in going to war, whether it IS actually God at the centre of all this or the Devil, and asking for guidance from someone. And, surprise surprise - it's been adapted from an Iron Maiden song. Video below:

Yeah, seems a pretty long piece - but it'll be about 5-5 and a half minutes. As it's now a poem, there's going to be no long solo sections or the like. All that's being kept is the intor and outro played on acoustic guitar. I'm looking forward to getting to grips with it.

What else? Oh yeah, I had to call the police again this week! After speaking to them on Saturday regarding my bag, I witnessed the aftermath of a mugging and had the rozzers round mine at half 11 so I could give a statement. I lead a very interesting life, don't I?

Get well soon to my brother as well - the poor guy has glandular fever. You've now got half term to rest it off buddy, make the most of it.

Right, I'm going to get things sorted regarding Movember - the fundraising event to grow a moustache for the whole of November to raise awareness and money for prostate cancer. I have the Drama guys involved (and two females!) so it should be a laugh.

Laters xx