The last three days.

The last three days have gone from good to bad to okay-ish. It's been tough, particularly the last 48 hours, but I have faith that everything will turn out ok.

Let's start with the good. Friday night was the Superheroes vs. Supervillains Drama Soc social at the Bierkeller in town, Bristol's only dedicated rock/alternative/punk/metal club. I went as Heath Ledger's Joker and had an absolutely amazing time - it was great seeing so many people come in costume, some of well-known characters, others completely made up. A thoroughly enjoyable night, made even more satisfying by the fact that I got more of the free cocktail than advertised. Basically, if you came in fancy dress, you were eligible for a free Kryptonite Cocktail. I was one of the first people to redeem the above drink from the bar, and received a full pint of the cocktail. Literally 2 minutes afterwards, they set up the stall for the drink redemption, and issued the cocktails in small tumblers, about the size of your average spirit glass. Sometimes, mistakes can be great.

Now the flip side. I helped out at the Open Day for my campus on Saturday, and as the clock ticked round to half three, I left my base to go and help clear up around the site. On my return 15 minutes later, I discovered my bag gone, potentially stolen. It contained several items of importance - my pencil case, an exercise book, a library book, a module reader and handbook AND, most worryingly and valuable of all, my passport. So far, nothing has surfaced regarding the return of any of my items. Naturally, I've been upset about the whole scenario and as a result, my smoking has increased to deal with the stress. A pretty poor end to my Saturday, although things are moving along for a new passport and I intend to seach more for it tomorrow. This is also why today has been okay-ish: the loss of it has really been a dampener on everything that's happened.

Nothing else has really occurred, so this may be seen as a short post. I'll keep you updated on this as it unfolds.

Laters xx

Lonely.

I get lonely quite a lot nowadays. I actually have no idea why. I've always been quite independent, and yet now I need people around me more than ever. I guess quite a few factors have contributed to this - Rosie's death, mine and Alex's break-up, the transition to a new church, the second year of uni, financial struggles, unemployment. Quite manageable things, I know, but they hit me hard and fast over a short period of time, and I'm still reeling from it all.

I mean, Rosie's funeral was, in a way, quite a good thing. Sounds strange to say, but the fact is it gave me closure. When I left Newent School, I deleted many of my schoolfriends from Facebook and the like, because I wanted to have as few reasons as possible to return to Gloucester - I wanted a new start and a clean break from everything. Of course, there were still people from school that I kept - my social group for example, and a few others that I got on well with, Rosie included, but aside from that everyone went. I felt that I had been seen as an easy target by quite a lot of them, and I didn't want them in my life any more. Sounds fair enough. Rosie's funeral allowed me to draw a line under Newent School and properly move on - her connections with the school meant that there was always a link. I would like to stress NOW that I am NOT saying that Rosie passing away was a good thing and that I was waiting for it to happen so I could break away completely - I was as upset as everyone for I had always hoped she would beat cancer. I just went to the funeral for her sake and her sake alone - I'm above everything else. Some may call this arrogance; I call it looking out for No.1 and making my life better.

I guess I'm also worried about the new Freshers in Drama Society. I've always been a worrier, for everyone other than myself usually. However, the strong characters involved this year have made me question my acting ability a huge amount and whether I'm really doing the right thing by trying to make a career from Drama, I just seem substandard. Having said that, this year is crucial - a lot of training in lessons and other productions will show me for sure. I'm also giving directing a go too - see if that's a good move. By the way, in relation to Drama Society, congratulations to Huw Tindall-Jones for being appointed Vice President: you deserved it mate.

Talking of productions, I really hope John Reid, one of our senior lecturers gets his act together and releases the cast list for 'Spring Awakening'. I want a really good role. If I don't, there's at least two other things to audition for: 'Sixteen' by Scott Fraser and 'Punk Rock' by Caroline Hadley. As for Armistice, I'll release details of that when everything's cast and sorted. Which reminds me - I need to send my cast off, first directing piece in that showcase.

Has anyone been watching The Fades? It's been gripping! It's about this guy who has the ability to see the dead who haven't been able to leave this world peacefully (known as The Fades) and some of them are attacking humans and killing them. And there's this groups known as The Angelics who are out to stop this. In the last episode, this guy died and came back to life through some random voodoo and his twin sister. Was amazing. Also, Fresh Meat on Channel 4 has been great too. It's literally The Inbetweeners at university, so funny.

Couple of gigs coming up I hope to go to - Opeth in November and Mastodon in February. I badly wanna see Rammstein again though, but Birmingham's sold out :(. I DID see them twice in 6 months last year, so I'll have to be content with that I guess: the singer wants to retire at 50, and that's 2013, so I'm pretty sure I'll never see them again.

The Macarena just came on my iTunes - I'm so cool.

Writing this has really helped my loneliness - I've got a lot off my chest. I don't know if anyone will see or read this, but if you do, thank you - it means a lot.

Laters xx

P.S. Cutting back on smoking is going well - I even turned down going out for one earlier today! Sadly, my chest is quite bad still. Won't stop me going out tomorrow night though!

Ozzy Osbourne, Pink Floyd and more.

So, the title explained:

The bit about Ozzy concerns my last Creative Writing project. We are currently studying a play called Rum and Vodka, written by Connor MacPherson. We were asked to continue the monologue as we felt fit, and mine ended up with the protagonist biting the head off a bat, akin to the Prince of Darkness on tour one year. Dark, but funny. Apparently.

Pink Floyd? I was listening to Dark Side of the Moon earlier. I don't care what anyone says, that album is as good as it was almost 40 years ago when it first came out. Simply stunning effort by the 'Floyd. No wonder it was released in 1973 and didn't drop off the Billboard Top 200 in the 'States until 2001.

I'm currently listening to/watching Metallica's show from Rock Am Ring in 2008. I'm not looking at the setlist at all - Metallica change theirs nearly every show, and not one song is constant throughout a tour. For example, if they have a 60 date tour, the most played song will feature 59 times. I rather like that idea - it gives fans something different each time they play. If I were the singer of a band, I'd want setlists to change every night, pyros, staging with different levels, changing backdrops, the works - these people have come to see a show, and the minute I had the chance to add something in I would. Even if that meant starting off small by releasing beach balls into the crowd, I'd do it, make sure everyone watching went away having had a good time and wanting to see us again.

Not much else has happened today I don't think. Oh wait, I had another shelf fitted in my room. This is most helpful to my living arrangements - my room is now perfect for me this year :).

It's getting pretty hot in here. Apparently temperatures are meant to soar to 23 degrees by the end of the week again. I can hardly wait.

Nothing else to really say. Drama Society tomorrow with the election of our new Vice President, of which I'm in the running. I hope I get it!

Laters xx 

Just so everyone is on the same wavelength...

Here is my plan re smoking:

Firstly, I am NOT giving it up 100%. This is a conscious decision based on my own findings last year, which I will explain as we go along. I think the correct term is CUTTING BACK, as opposed to giving up, so I apologise for the confusion. Anyway, here is my plan:

1. I intend to become a social smoker again, as opposed to the regular/heavy one I am now. As such, you may see me buying tobacco from time to time or smoking, but I can assure you I will not be puffing like a chimney as I was until Saturday. I'm looking at going from the 8+ a days I would usually have to 1 or 2, maybe 0.
2. As mentioned above, I'm turning social. So, at events like the Monday Lock-In, Drama Soc socials, house parties or whatever, I will probably be smoking. However, it won't be to the extent that I used to, as I found I missed so much conversation when out for a smoke that I ended up drifting between groups, feeling lost and lonely.
3. I found last year that if I hit a writer's block during essays, a cigarette break helped me calm down and re-focus. When I resumed my essay, I'd find the answer and continue for another 1000 words or so. I plan to keep this up.
4. I will only EVER smoke heavily on the three Last Order events every year. I find I smoke more when I drink, so when an event turns up that is 12 hours long and drink will be flowing, I will probably be 'back to my old ways' as it were. The same applies to music festivals.

I hope this clears things up.

In other news, my costume for Friday night is complete. The Bierkeller, Bristol's only proper alternative nightclub, is hosting a Superheroes vs Supervillains night, and I am going ad The Joker from the Dark Night. My costume is now complete, it's gonna be amazing!

I'm really looking forward to finding out the cast list for 'Spring Awakening' this year. With my part from last year, The Masked Man, now being a Masked WOMAN, I can be assured of a bigger role. Here's hoping I'm Moritz or Melchior!

On the music front, Machine Head's new album 'Unto the Locust' is brilliant. 7 tracks of pure heaviness and balls-out metal. I wanna see them live so badly, but I can't afford to :(.

That's more or less it for today. Speak tomorrow.

Laters xx

The start of something new...

My first post since August 6th eh? Well this is where things get regular again.

So, a quick recap of the last couple of months, so you're all up to speed. Edinburgh Fringe was amazing, regardless of the fact that the reviewers hated us. We all had a good time and I got to meet a couple of special people in my world - Norman Lovett, best known for playing Holly in sci-fi sitcom Red Dwarf, and Anthony Rapp, who played Mark in the film version of hit musical Rent. I also discovered the delights of strawberry beer and a wonderful pub called 'The Tron', where all roads lead to. What was even more special was seeing Mum, Dad and my godfather Howard come and support me during my show. Next year, I plan to go again, although without the 13-hour bus journey this time...

After that, things go downhill. Me and Alex split up at the start of September, however it was all dealt with very maturely and we are still the best of friends. The saddest news was to come though. On 12th September, an old schoolfriend of mine, Rosie Kilburn, lost her three-and-a-half year battle with cancer. She had raised well into four figures for various charitites with the help of her own online shop, The Knock On Effect, and I had done things my own way to support her. The funeral was beautiful, between 200-400 people there, depending on reports, and Rosie is always with me, in my heart and on my bag in the form of a domino badge, dominoes being one of TKOE's logos.

Since then, I have started my second year at uni and am thoroughly enjoying it, although am currently feeling a little worse for wear. Although I was indeed at a party last night, that's not the reason. You see, on Wednesday, when ALSO out, I made the conscious decision to cut back on my smoking, to stop having maybe 10 cigarettes a day and going to the odd one every now and then, with maybe a pack of 10 for socials and 20 for the uni's Drink the Bar Dry event. Even as I write this, I'm starting to get a craving!

I have to go, I'm going to have some food and head down to the library, to print out things and get myself in order for uni next week. I'll probably post later tonight, if not I'll definitely do so tomorrow. As the title says, this is becoming regular again.

Laters xx

Ummm, yeah....

...it's now August 6th. My last post was almost 4 months ago.

Oops.

Right, so what to say.....

Well, the last four months have seen many things occur. I've passed the whole of my first year at university with a 2:1, so I'm very happy about that - second year student at least! I've had my second job - working as a door-to-door charity fundraiser - and done fairly well, but not well enough else I'd still be there (I got fired just over a week ago), and rehearsals for the Fringe Festival are going very, very well - regardless of the fact that we managed to break our prop swords in the last rehearsal...

Me and Alex have now been together 5 months and all is well - she is very happy with her new job and how things are progressing in her life, very much helped by the new home she is living in. As for me, I move into my new place in just under a week - very much looking forward to it!

On the music front, Sonisphere 2011 was an absolute triumph. So much better than last year's festival and I had an amazing time. Slipknot blew everyone away on the final night and the Big 4 went down a storm. It was difficult to say who the best band were out of Slayer or Metallica though. I also met one of my heroes in life, Mr Terry Bezer - formerly of Metal Hammer Magazine, now of Rocksound - at the Black Spiders set. He even fistbumped me! Made my entire Saturday evening.

The surprise bands of the weekend were Tek One, who's brand of 'dubstep metal' was an absolute treat to hear, and Volbeat, who came on 15 minutes early because everything was ready and played an extra 15 minutes. It meant I MISSED the first 15 minutes, but what I saw was immense. Only the 'Knot stopped Volbeat being the best band of the weekend.

I followed it up with two nights of Iron Maiden. In a row. Oh my GOD, what a couple of nights! Maiden were on top form and out of this world. If the sound hadn't cut out in Birmingham, and my eagerness to be at the front in Cardiff caused sound problems, it would have beaten Twickenham. Nevertheless, they were superb. Airbourne as their support put on two good shows as well. AC/who?

Right, I'm off. I promise to update more as the next year begins.For now, I'm off to see family.

Laters xx

Busy Busy Busy

So, 15 days since my last post. Guess I'd best tell you my news!

Well, I'm now home for Easter after a wonderful term where I've found love, a big break and buried treasure...

Let's start with the love. For the past month and a bit I have been dating a wonderful girl named Alex. She's a little older than me (celebrated her 21st last week), is on my course at university and is so wonderful in many ways. I even have a scene with her in one of the plays our Drama Society is taking to Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and I cannot wait to do this scene as she is a sparkling actress with a helluva lot going for her :).

Which leads on to my big break! Edinburgh Fringe! As I mentioned, the Drama Society goes to Edinburgh Fringe Festival in the summer, as they did last year, and perform in a venue to a paying auidence and are even reviewed. This year, we are taking up three plays, to be performed over two nights: 'Heartbreak' (an original piece by the Society's Vice-President), 'Romance with a Double Bass' (adapted from the short story by Anton Chekhov) and 'The Secret of Monkey Island' (adapted from the computer game of the same name by LucasArts).

Well, I am happy to report that I was successful in my attempts to get into a cast, and I now have a part in '...Monkey Island'. What's even better is that I have gained the lead role of Guybrush Threepwood as well! I'm ecstatic about this and very much looking forward to acting on one of the world's biggest stages and hopefully making my mark on the acting world.

Lastly, buried treasure (nicely leading on again, given that '...Monkey Island' is a play about pirates) - a few of us went down to a stream near us in Bristol, at a place called Snuff Mills for fun and frolics. When paddling, my friend came across a toolbox in the water. He described it as finding treasure. When opened, we couldn't believe it to find a full set of tools in there, complete with bag of washers, nuts, bolts and screws, as well as a wide array of screwdrivers and pliers. There was even a handsaw and a hammer! But best of all was the penknife that I got from the box and proudly took home with me. Amongst other things we found in the stream were a motorcycle component and a sign proclaiming 'Foothpath Closed', complete with stand, which we proceeded to erect and place across the stream as a joke.

That's pretty much it from the last 15 days. Would like to finish by saying happy birthday to Mum and Dad - Dad was 50 on March 29th, Mum 48 on April 6th. I love you both.

Laters xx