...just couldn't get to sleep. Admittedly I forced the 3am bed time on myself (well, I PARTLY did), but I certainly didn't ask for waking up at 4 and 6. No wonder I turned my alarm off and didn't wake up until 11.
The reason I didn't force upon myself was Skins. Skins is a teenage drama series set in Bristol, UK (where I'm living)and last night saw the airing of the first episode of the new season, Season 5. I started watching the show at the beginning of Season 3 and loved it. Now I realise that Seasons 3 and 4 were terrible in comparison to Seasons 1 and 2, but anyway.
Being the budding actor that I am, I geared myself up over the course of Season 3 and 4 to audition for number 5. Knowing that the actors were all older than the parts they were playing (18-20 year olds playing 16-17) I was hopeful that I could get a part, despite the fact that thousands of teens auditions for a gang of about 9, because when auditions came round I would be 17/18.
But then the audition details were released and it was stated that you had to be born between July 1st 1992 and July 1st 1994 to audition, thus rendering me a mere 40 days too old to audition. Needless to say, I was devastated and was left angry and bitter about the situation in hand. I made a promise not to watch the new season - the acting has generally been sub-par, and I knew I would watch as a critic as opposed to a fan and pick out all the faults in the characters and explain, to myself or anyone else in the vicinity, how I could have played that particular bit ten times better than them.
Well, of course last night Facebook and Twitter were swamped with people going on about Skins left, right and centre, and thee bitterness re-engulfed me. What became the final nail in the coffin was a Tweet from a friend of mine saying how he saw a few of his friends in the episode as extras, something I had also applied unsuccessfully for. The world crashed around me (or so it felt) and I was left sitting in my room upset at the fact that I had not made it. It's a feeling that I know well - one of my Drama teachers seemed to have something against me and I felt held me back from letting me show my true potential throughout my time at school - but it still gets to me. I just want a chance, one chance, to prove myself and prove my ability. That's all. I know the time will come, but I can be such an impatient bastard, and this is one of those things that I can't help being impatient about.
The other factor was a friend's breakup from his girlfriend. Not a great friend I admit, but a friend nonetheless. His change of status on his Facebook promptly set off a 200+ comment argument as somebody said his ex was better off without him and we all rallied around him to defend him. That went well into the night as well, but eventually I tore myself away from the laptop and went to bed.
With regards to today however, it has been a lot better. I had a training day for a volunteering project I am involved in with my uni's Drama Society running workshops at a local primary school. That went well and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I also tried on my costume for a one-act play I am in that is showing at a local theatre next week. I am to be an Ancient Greek, however I also wear a big chef's hat wth a crown around it. If I get a picture I will be sure to post it on here.
I am going to get an early night in tonight, as I have a rehearsal tomorrow for ANOTHER play and a party in the evening. I will try and find the time to blog on Sunday, but that day is the tech rehearsal for the play mentioned above, so I may not post until Monday. I will endeavour to, however.
Laters xx
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